Lluïsa Vidal invents herself, Self-Portrait, 1899

—a professional artist and the only known woman in Spain at the time to earn a living through her art. –Marcy Rudo, “Lluïsa Vidal. Painted Like a Man, Disappeared Like a Woman”

you must dress well. must fill the canvas. must fill the canvas with confidence and conversation and competence. you must smile just enough & do your hair up. you must, if you must feed your family, fill it with skill. commitment. persistence. see things through. engagement. look busy but not too busy. approachable. ladylike. maternal even. though not neglectful and not for art. married. or so the trick mirror ring suggests. in your smooth, pink, lace-necked loose-brushed pinafore, you are all of it. balancing with a red-tipped brush, a clutch of tools, palette that matches your moire rippled smock, which eggplants and lemons its own still life, hiding your canvas while filling it up. you must be odd if you want to work. give lessons. open an academy. you must not be odd if you want to work. and she does. the folds of her swell. the full sleeve with its steep cliff walks.

dancing a lecture

—after Sheron Wray

the aesthetics of joy: what you/she embody in this space

fractal code: the knowledge you already have/can share: how to sew on buttons, how to trap & feather sparrows, how to soothe a crying child, how to have a baby, how to watch someone die, the fermentation of hops/ of cacao/ of grapes/ of soybeans, how to upholster a couch, how to create a print from linoleum & knives, how to respond to the call of creation

how to respond to the call of creation?

when she stops dance-talking to play a video of drumming/ when the drums/ when my hands dance/ when they know where they are talking/ what the pen knows the asymmetric curves across/ around the page/ when they fill the space they dance/ when the pen where they dance the line unbroken/ when they know where to take it/ when they respond answer move with beneath around inside/ when the drum/ the drums/ when they have no choice/ when the drums, the universal asks/ when reply/ when improvisation/ when the hand body/ when the voice decisions/

this is serious play/ this is art/ this is taking part/ this is making/adding/leaving a mark/

this is heal-whole not-slice-cut-pull apart/ this resist revision/

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